I was home on maternity leave with my son, in the middle of winter I remember saying to my husband this will be so good to bring a social life to me… now having a newborn.
Next up the smart phones. Super convenient right, 100%. Almost TOO convenient. Ive realized just how much I do pick it up. Yes with work, I am on my phone alot with messages and emails especially.
One thing I am re-learning is boundaries. Especially with my phone and my time. Its almost TOO easy to get a hold of someone. We are way too tied to our phones in a very bad way. I admit I have been guilty of it myself, I am working at being much more conscious in the moment and BE present. I think of back in the day, before cell phones, people were SO MUCH MORE prepared. My parents used to have the business phone ring at home – this meant it rang ALL day and evenings and weekends. I remember may school breaks or snow days sitting answering the phones. However, if we weren’t home… no one answered. Yes, there are clear benefits to having cell phones now, along with healthy boundaries.
People were so much more prepared and present before social media and cell phones! Even within the kitchen alone. True home cooking, very little in “boxes” and if they were it was boxes of real meat. Im grateful I grew up seeing the family side of a trades business. It truly helped prepare me for the woman I am today.
Boundaries are SO important with phones and especially “social” media – cause its not social, thats totally the wrong word in my opinion. Yes its a form of communication, but “social”?! I guess I think of social as being healthy and good for us, however too much social media is isolating, time sucking and not healthy at all. Seriously, can you determine what is real, or many times who is real?
I appreciate social media, for the connection, and Ive noticed when I am feeling completely out of control of something (for example my husbands healing journey the past 15+ months) I grab my phone and scroll. Do I remember anything, nope most times not cause I am literally just scrolling, wasting time.
Im shifting this. As I blogged about yesterday, I used to love my blogs, reading them, learning and sharing my own stories.
I keep hearing – take a step back – actually take a huge step back. Truthfully I think society needs to in a big way. Do we really need things instantly? Nope. Look at how what we search or my god sometimes even just think of something and an ad shows up on our phone – what the hell is that?
A reminder to BE present. Allow social media to take a far back seat. I love sharing about my own health journey and holistic health options, however I feel my blog is so much more authentic to me.
So cheers to more pen to paper and blogging in 2022!
Literal full stop. Even after getting reassuring news. But honestly I think that is exactly what it was.
It’s 630pm and I am in bed writing.
I have debated back and forth, how much do I share of my “real life”, is it really anyone elses business. Technically no. Full stop there. However, I think of my own healing journey. I used to read a LOT of blogs, before social media took over. Yes like literal take over. Which is why I am choosing to write here. Go back to my roots, I began a blog for ME! For my mental health because I had found so much support myself through other people’s real life stories as well! SO… for my healing and whoever this may help in the future, we’ve got this!
Last week my husband lost his balance and went forward on his bad ankle. A movement that his foot has not done in a very long time. Over extending up onto his toes. Instant pain and he heard something. When he called me, he didn’t have to say a word, I knew something happened. We got to the local hospital and I am grateful they honored what every patient deserves, to have a loved one present with them. He respectively told them he couldn’t even think straight and he needed his wife by his side. Truthfully I was feeling like I could loose it at any second but I HAD to hold myself together for him. Unfortunately we have not had the greatest of experiences during his healing journey with modern medicine and I’ve had my own many challenges in the past.
After his leg/ankle broke back in May and he was told by a doctor he was “doing too much and to go home, take these anti-inflammatories and take it easy”. He walked on a broken leg, thinking he was going crazy due to all the pain… for a WEEK! A fucking week. He received a call exactly a week later, our family doctor following up to ensure someone had called us and followed up from the hospital. You can imagine our reaction. He has most definitely been affected, but speaking for myself this has been emotionally very traumatic for me.
Yesterday, he was told by the clinic that the fractures still haven’t healed yet and he would have to follow up with his surgeon. They didn’t say or elaborate anymore?! So I called this morning, 1 to make sure they DID send the records to the surgeon (previous had not been) and 2 to ask WHERE the fractures were. Oh my does this medical system in Canada need work and a lot of it. When I asked where I was told they could not say. But yet 24 hours prior they DID say and had us completely stressed the fuck out! OK… that’s not me being out of line in ANY way, that’s what empowered health care is, asking questions to find out answers. I also get that they couldn’t say because the specialist is the one who should communicate. Yes, once they forwarded forwarded records, only after that could he communicate the results, so in saying that what was said yesterday should not have been as it added alot of stress.
Thankfully his surgeon is amazing. Very diligent and so kind. He knew it was that statement that had us very concerned. Good lord it’s been 15+ loathesome months at times with so many ups and downs. Just making progress and hit rod blocks. Thankfully, he has been so cautious, this last week was such a fluke, but man scary also.
I felt myself sinking. It was very real for me that this was hitting me much quicker. I tried to “be strong” and not show him my frustration, sadness and anger at the situation. Hiding away and pushing feelings deep down is NOT the answer. Omg that is the worst thing we could do to ourselves. My appetite is non-existant. I never not been hydrating properly. I’m feeling it.
I broke earlier this week in front of him. Even though I was encouraging him to feel the emotions, cry and let it out. IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER!
This evening, got home from work, organized our freezer – Seriously this just excites me so much to have an upright freezer that I can organize and know what we have!!! Plus it’s closer to the kitchen, yup may sound weird but way easier in my brain to meal plan. When I am in the kitchen and think of dinner for another night, literally walk through the laundry mud room and around the corner.
It was during dinner it hit me. I was done. I needed to go lay down and do nothing. I heard the words FULL STOP!
I honored it, as I felt the inspiration to share. I truly believe that we can all learn from each other. There is true healing in learning to navigate our own emotional and physical health at home first and by using methods which are beneficial to the Healing path as well that is required. By first honoring ourselves. First, before anyone else. For years I used to feel guilty, I’m mom I have to do it all. That was the expectation I put on myself. I was very much living in my more masculine energy, I can clearly see that now. I can also clearly see the timeline of when I disconnected over and over again from my feminine energy in my teens and also, especially actually when we were trying to start a family, when I was 23. I was “doing” and was neglecting the part of me that just wanted to “BE” 🙏❤!
It’s been at times a heavy road of healing through life, but my goodness this shift has clearly happened for a reason, at times very fucked up, especially when we add in what we in Ontario and much of the world have been living in these past 2 years 😳!
So, full stop. It’s now ME time. Oh damn, after I deal with my laundry… haha should I be honest I’m pretty much out of underwear so it had to happen today, energy level or not. I’ve also learned in life, if it doesn’t feel good to me, it doesn’t matter to anyone else or what, where, etc, thats a full stop too. Clothes don’t fit or feel good, done take to consignment or donate. Actually, another good full stop story… my fav this week is our freezer! We have had a small chest freezer for the past 10 years along with the fridge freezer section. The one day I brought home our freezer pack order from the butcher and I had enough of trying to keep this small chest freezer organized, we never knew what we actually had and I truthfully hate wasting food, like with a passion. So… bought an upright freezer and I just love it so much! How amazing to look in a SEE and KNOW what we have! Anything to make meal planning simpler for me is amazing!
Full stop to bring myself to a slower paced mindset. To literally allow my brain to slow down, I find writing so therapeutic and as I mentioned, I used to love reading blogs. Those were the days before the social media takeover. Do you remember back then?
Have you met my dog Becker? If you have been around here for a while you probably have.
It was never about the number…
When it hit me the other day, I have officially lost the weight of my dog!!! 🤯
75 – SEVENTY FIVE POUNDS 🥳
In the past I haven’t been great a honoring me, honoring my accomplishments or even who I am. This is a “story” I am shifting in my life. I used to blame me, my body for my various health challenges. The biggest, at 23 facing infertility. This journey has taken a loooong time to heal, deep within, but it’s also set me free. In a way I didn’t know was deep, has been lit within.
To EMBRACE ME whole heartedly! To honor how I FEEL! But most important, to LOVE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY ❤
Shifting our lifestyle has been transformational. It’s never been about the number, and quite honestly I would never suggest anyone change their life for a number, or for anyone else for that matter.
I did this for ME 🥰
My family has benefitted, especially because their wife and mama is not just healthier, but happier. I truly did not know the depth of the physical and emotional pain I was still feeling on a daily basis, until I shifted, and kept shifting until I could look myself in the mirror and say I LOVE YOU. Every single inch of me. That was in 2021.
It was time to really step into my strength. When I faced my “c-section shelf” and embraced it.
I spoke love. Up until then I had lost over 60 lbs and was feeling “good” but my tummy was something I always saw as flawed. I began speaking love to my body every single day, with gratitude for giving me my c-section as it saved my son’s life. I was holding onto the pain of the memories for so long, not able to shift myself forward. Even at a time when our life was turned upside down again (last May) I knew more than ever I had to pour love into me. Although I took a step back from the daily exercise programs I was doing, I took a huge step forward into ME. Even with my c-section tummy, smaller but still there and well loved.
Alignment of who I am and who I want to be. What health is for me and how I want to feel.
A month ago I hit this number, today I celebrate, and also wonder how the heck that was actually ON my body 🤣
It’s so easy to be hard on ourselves, I should do this, why am I not doing this, get that, be like her, if only I had money for… why doesn’t my body look like that?
This is when we are most disconnected to our self and our soul is literally feeling lost. Feeling like we are putting pressure on ourselves which then feeds stress, overwhelm, confusion, uncertainty, and while affecting our mental health, will eventually begin to drag down our physical health too.
Balance is individual, just like each of us. As an introvert I am “recharged” by spending time alone, in silence, journaling, reading, getting outside with my camera or processing photos on my computer, walking in nature. Balance between work and home life as well as work time and personal time. Balance of exposing myself to the external world – think social media and how much our brain must take in when we spend time in that space. Think of how many lives we all have a glimpse into. Is it real? Is it “balanced”? Is the external world more important than your internal balance? Balance with time and the “to-do list”, which I prefer to flip to “I get to do!”, it just feels less like “work” and honestly time, depending on what is needed, will either feel like there is an abundance of time or will go quickly! The more I disconnect from “what time is it” and just BE in the moment, the more at peace I am, the more grounded I am and quite honestly the more productive I am.
One thing that brings me the most balance is my passion – photography. In the winter I do not get to enjoy my photography as much as I do in the Spring, Summer and Fall. Although some mornings, mother nature delivers a true gift.
It was COLD! Well the coldest its been this winter… about -16! As I saw the sky warming and brightening in our back yard, I threw on my housecoat and big boots, grabbed the dog (who would only come out the 2nd time as it was so cold) and captured the early winter morning beauty!
As the sun is easing up into the winter sky.
Without a doubt when I start my day fueling ME and what lights me up, my passion. Sure I may not be able to get out everyday with my camera and process the images then, however, even just the art of taking a photo – regardless of whether its with my big or small camera or even my cell phone.
How can you bring balance to your life today?
What lights you up and fuels your soul?
We are nicely into the month of January… challenge yourself to go deeper within YOU!
I wish you all the best from our home and family to you and yours.
In January when you order your monthly wellness box through your loyalty rewards program, when it is 125PV you will receive a free Japanese Peppermint!!! I am really excited to smell this oil and experience the difference between our regular Peppermint and this one!
Also in January you can save 10% off of Arborvitae! This is a beautiful wood oil that comes from here in Canada 🙂 This oil can be used topically or in the diffuser aromatically.
My intuitive blend I selected for this month is: TRUST IN THE DIVINE
Peppermint – Oil of the Buoyant HeartArborvitae – Oil of Divine GraceCopaiba – Oil of Unveiling Hygge – Oil of Sanctuary With a new year I thought I would share this information differently for you…
Sending you health and happiness vibes for today and everyday this year. If you are curious about holistic support on your journey, please feel free to reach out. Although all of our journey is unique just like each of us, as we shift our lifestyle to embrace how our body, soul and mind wants to be living, we begin to thrive in ways we never have before. ❤
Of honestly not much, but also everything 🥰! A beautiful 2 hour Yoga and Intention Workshop with @jennpike that was SO incredible! Deep gratitude 🙏
After doing some quick running around, back home to settle into a beautiful hot bath with a bath bomb and some essential oils!
Elevation – Joy Cypress – Motion & Flow Frankincense – Truth Copaiba – Unveiling
Water is so truly relaxing, refreshing refreshing regenerating to me! After soaking I got out my journal and made a list!
In 2022 I welcome in…
A couple things I am leaving back in 2021 is Pain and Procrastination! How about also… Fear, Uncertainty, Scarcity, Unkindness, Control of any kind!
Lean in, even if it’s for 10 minutes of your time today… lean in to you! Get quiet and listen. If it’s been a while, the ego may try to take over. Keep breathing and quieting the mind.
Cheers to 2021… a year of a LOT of growth and healing, lord knows more than we ever thought… but we are SO much stronger, healthier and above all… even though we maybe weren’t at our best this year… 🙏
I listened to a podcast while doing the dishes this morning, The Motherly when Liz interviewed @glennondoyle and she spoke about Motherhood. At the very beginning of the podcast she said, “Our children need ALL of us”.
I literally stopped what I was doing. How many times as parents or adults have we thought we did a “bad” job as a parent or wanted to ‘control’ how something would work out.
One thing I can honestly say about 2021, our kids saw all of us. Our kids saw us experience our emotions, they saw the happiness, they saw the confusion and uncertainty, frustration, blood, sweat and tears… REAL fucking life!
If there is one goal moving into the new year, if you are a parent or becoming one, please remember our children do NOT expect us to be perfect, they need to know that no one is perfect, sometimes people need help, sometimes screaming to let off steam is exactly what you need or gracing yourself with your own timeout. NORMALIZE mental health in all areas of your life, but especially for children. 🥰
Yesterday I sat down and pulled some cards from my favourite oracle deck, Starseeds! I had the inspiration from my energy coach, Avalon, to pull 3 cards: 1. for the begin of the year, 2. for the middle and 3. for the end. Grab your fav deck and do a spread!
This morning, I vowed to myself to start my day with my new routine! Which I did!!!
However the animals came first, but that’s ok cause then they settled back in and were happy too!
This morning, I wanted to use my Moonology deck for today’s messages. What do I need to know today as we close out 2021. These 3 cards literally jumped from the deck.
There is a theme… of healing. Which this year for me, really ramped up in August of this year.
I also intuitively created this diffuser blend for this morning. It is a Prosperity and Abundance blend!
Wild Orange – Oil of Abundance
Peppermint – Oil of Buoyant Heart
Litsea – Oil of Manifestation
Cumin – Oil of Balanced Ambition
Helichrysum- Oil of Emotional Pain
Geranium – Oil of Love & Trust
Eucalyptus – Oil of Wellness
Roman Chamomile – Oil of Spiritual Purpose
In this blend, Peppermint and Wild Orange are my two main oils with 2-3 drops each. All others have 1 drop in this diffuser blend. I love the uniqueness that Cumin offers in this! It just smells so incredible. I love how the smell shifts with each oil it picks up!
I plan to enjoy some quiet time for the next hour and a half before the Yoga and Intention class I signed up for with Jenn Pike, starts at 10am until noon!
I listened to an outstanding podcast this morning that I just had to share with you! If you have been around for a bit, you know that I once struggled with PCOS and Hypothyroidism.
This was an outstanding podcast, for one because I could relate and two because it reminded me of some things that I knew ‘back in the day’ but given 2020 and 2021, most specifically our last 14 mths for our family, my brain was on over load!
Jenn reminded me that women with PCOS do NOT want to be doing a ton of cardio, that will work against you! I knew there was a reason I am truthfully not a cardio fan at all LOL! Also the importance of some supplements for our body, keeping in mind everyone’s health is different so its truly not a cut and dry solution for one scenario!
I have shifted… back in May I believe I shared with you that I crumbled. At times hard. Typing this blog, I can feel emotions sneaking up to the surface, so there is still some work to do. In my safe place, in my zen den, because thats where I would only work out, in May I found myself pushing, pushing through pain – physical as I have an upper rib that pops out a lot, also pushing through emotional pain.
Cancel hustle culture… there truly is NO room for this in anyone’s life. A previous program I was doing, I can now see although it provided me with some success moments, it wasn’t fueling me properly… it was fueling a fire that needed first to be tamed.
Truthfully, I signed up with Jenn to ease into this new lifestyle, she also provides incredible nutrition – like real nutrition and LIVES by it. So for me, with my various food sensitivities I would have to adapt a LOT of recipes… many of her’s are Pam friendly, which lets be real, makes it SO much easier! I am truly excited for her Free Yoga Class on Friday morning!
Even if you have not been diagnosed with PCOS this is a good listen for every woman!
As I sat down this evening I had a “memory” reminder pop up. It happened to be this blog post…
Where in the blog post I wrote about taking time for myself, healing and how much it meant to share family time with our extended sides over the holidays 🥰 Which. Let’s be real isn’t happening and although part of me is LOVING the extra time, our kids are seriously missing out as are the adults from precious family time.
I then saw this photo… from our Christmas 2015. With my lifestyle shift I had begun to shed a bit of weight… about 5lbs. Which for me was significant. I then thought of our this years photo… not only how much healthier I am but happier too!
Another bonus I read in that post, from on this day in 2015… my parents had all 5 kids for a sleepover lol which was just what we needed after a busy holiday!!! 🙃
Ive heard this so many times, haha as the saying goes if I had a quarter for everytime I heard that… I could buy a new camera 😉
Yes, the equipment matters – truthfully we all know comparing quality. But… its the artists eye in two key times that truly matters and shall we say, is the icing on the cake!
After visiting family the other day, my husband stopped at this beautiful river for me to quench my photographers thirst. While editing the images, I was reminded how important the two key times are in the process of capturing a moment that is transformed into a memory.
I can admit, more times that not I have commented on not being happy with the image when looking at the back of the camera. Truthfully a self-judgment piece that I am also working on, NOT being so judgmental of myself. Then I download the images into my computer and then magic of the process continues.
This is what I LOVE about digital photography, especially as a very visual person. I love being able to shoot until the card is literally full.
Check this out… BEFORE
and AFTER ❤
Another beauty of digital photography, the artist can truly create their image to match their vision by using technology, vs by hand. One of my reasons for purchasing this camera is because it is so lightweight with incredible photo results, its easier to grab and go to keep my creative side fed this winter, whether inside or out, when it is darker and more dreary. To still nourish this part of me that just feels so incredible full after capturing our loved ones over the holidays. This is truly what life is all about and I feel blessed that I was given this passion to share with the world!
Shot with my Canon RP 35mm RF f1.8 lens and edited in Lightroom.