Today will always be a date I will remember. For both the great feelings and awful pain. A memory of my own battles over the years and also the strength these battles have given me. A reminder of how precious life truly is, and its surely not easy. The reality that there is no perfect fix, for anything, but there are ways to adjust and function!~
Ive spent today with my beautiful children who everyday I am so incredibly thankful for. This day is somewhat bitter sweet when I think of my children and think of the pain we endured to have a family, thankful we were merely bent and not entirely broken, thankful for what we have been blessed with and did not have to endure any more.
Today for me is a reminder of the struggles we as women go through. So many of us who suffer in silence. Who are so easy to judge each other and yet so quickly wish upon someone else and their life. Who stress the little stuff, when life continues to throw curve balls, who worry too much about what others think or what they will say. Who go behind backs and at a time when needed most, turn and they aren’t there.
My health issues are not life threatening, per say, they are “invisible” illnesses that so many women do suffer from, they are so very common, still not talked about enough.
After having my children I continued to feel ashamed, I felt so incredibly broken, I was in pain physically and mentally, I was stressed, I was extremely hard on myself. I will never forget those feelings – ever. Were they worth it in the end, of course I have two amazing children who keep me going strong each and everyday, especially on those days mommy really needs it.
Two years ago my life changed forever, when I had my hysterectomy.
The decision, was easy, although not in the eyes of many I talked to. Ive always been someone who although quite emotional, I could hold my own quite well. All the years of being in constant pain, many times extreme pain, uncomfortable, unknown food issues, I never really made it known just how much pain and discomfort I was in all the time. It was something I just dealt with and lived on. Until the living came to a halt when we wanted to begin our family. Welcome to marriage… BAM here is your first crisis… and it was hard. However, to this day, if I am having a hard day I have no problem letting my kids know that mommy hurts or is extremely tired, but that I will always need their cuddles!
Looking back on these two years, I am SO happy I made this decision. Even though I still have pain, and at times it can still be almost paralyzing, it is nothing like the pain I felt daily and monthly before my surgery. My illnesses will never go away, they are something that will always be a part of me, a part of my family, and that is what is most important my family, my own little family of 4 and our extended family and our friends. Being surrounded with loved ones, having fun, working hard but also enjoying life.
Best of all… I am LIVING and LOVING life… more importantly with my kids!
I am SO happy I got to spend the day today with my littles… xoxoxo
Being a mom is tough work… being a mom in pain, is even tougher. I am so thankful that I can now enjoy more time with them with less pain. Makes life much more worth it.
And now for a night out with my hubby 😉