I would be lying if I said I didn’t make poor choices in my life. I would also be lying if I said other peoples poor choices had no effect on me.
My little man reminded me, once again of what the most important choice in life is.
In the weeks leading up to his birthday, I had asked him numerous times what he wanted for his birthday, his answers leading up to this day he talked about the party and how much he wanted a hockey party. This day that stands out to me, he completely melted my heart. I asked him what he wanted for his birthday. I got the typical, I dont know, so I was more specific in asking what gift he wanted.
“I dont know mommy I just want to have fun with my family and friends”
My heart melted with pure love, my eyes filled with tears – happy of course, and I told him that was the most perfect answer.
He was slightly confused why it was such a big thing to me. Why it meant so much. Relationships have always been important to us and our children.
Growing up my husband and I each spent a lot of time with our own families as well as extended family and friends. This is something we have naturally continued within our own family and with our children, birthday’s and holidays aren’t as much about the gifts – although of course that part is fun – but its more about spending time together and having fun.
Recently our family received a gift, from someone who has made the choice to not be a part of our lives. Their choice, right. Exactly. However as the mama bear, when it directly affects my kids with confusion, sadness and questions – then it becomes a choice for me to make. My choice because… if someone chooses to not be a part of someones life or lives, I can respect their choice. I have chosen to raise my kids knowing that money does not buy happiness, that they do not need to have the absolute best or newest toys, that what we do have we have worked extremely hard to have and saved up and that relationships and love is key. My kids do not understand why someone would send a gift, yet have no part of their life. They are very relationship focused. So much in fact that rather than ask and be disappointed they are “busy” they no longer ask. My choice is solely on my kids, I don’t want my kids to think its ok to show “love” or “caring” by merely buying a gift and sending it. That is not OUR love. That is our choice.
Our choice for our family is to live surrounded by love. To know that life isn’t perfect, but that’s ok because everyone makes mistakes.
This week my husband and I are celebrating 9 years of marriage… in those 9 years SO much has happened. SO MUCH. So much that at times I am shocked we made it through, yet so proud we have each other to get through it together! In life, shit happens. Lets face it, it does. Part of the journey is not getting around or over it, its getting through it. We strive to teach this to our children.
In the past month we received heart breaking news about a family member, someone who although they’ve made some bad choices in life, they’ve shared so much life and love. Someone who our kids adore, who they love, who they are feeling pain for because its such an unknown right now. Truthfully I believe this has been on our kids minds, our son especially and why he expressed spending time with his family and friends was so important. A true reminder of what really is important in life and why the other “stuff”, negativity, the drama of whatever… you know what it really doesn’t matter. I will never forget the smiles and hear the sounds of laughter from our children at the fireworks festival, they had SO much fun with this family member. They were all just beaming. This is now when I have to remind myself to stay extremely positive, not for me, but for my husband and children.
If the entire 12 we’ve been together has taught me anything, its how important LOVE and RESPECT really is. Especially that you just don’t know whats going to happen tomorrow or what the next phone call is going to bring. Live life and take LOTS of photos! XOXO ❤
Some moments we spent as a family today… bad hair day and all. What matters is we were together.