February 16th is a memorable day as its two loved ones birthdays, but also this year on February 16, 2022 its the “anniversary” of my husbands accident 16 months ago.
16 on the 16th… felt real and heavy.
Although he is still on this healing journey, I wanted to take the time to reflect.
Being a caregiver and a parent and wife is completely different. Neither of us really had any idea of the possible healing journey this could be.
It’s been heavy. It’s felt really challenging at times. My mind has felt pulled in so many directions for so many reasons.
I am grateful.
This quote below sums it up perfectly.
As challenging the last 16 months has been, we have ALL experienced so much various growth. Myself, my husband, healing physically and mentally, and both of our children. All while also in a “pandemic” and more isolated than we normally would have been. Also an opportunity to spend more time within our space and property, to shift things within our home and lifestyle. I love loving our home and my body. I love feeling good. The past 16 months although very challenging at times, I have personally surrendered to the pain and also walked through it. Limping at times, walking and sometimes even running. It’s been an very literal up and down experience, so I’m leaning into trust.
Trusting me! But also cracking open even more. I was taking care of my husband, I couldn’t admit I was having moments of wanting to pull my hair out or about ready to collapse mentally and physically. I HAD to take care of him, I couldn’t let him think he was a burden to me.
Until I couldn’t anymore. It was the hardest thing ever to admit to him that I was crashing.
It was the best thing I did.
NORMALIZE MENTAL HEALTH
Normalize that we cannot do it all and the first step is to stop it! Stop doing it to yourself. I remind myself this. Alot. Society sadly still judges. Normalize getting help. Normalize someone making choices for their health to be right for them (I’ve also been shifting due to food sensitivities and allergies). Normalize everyone living their own life how they choose to – just like you want for yourself.
The past 16 months I have experienced beautiful growth myself, as well seeing it within my husband and kids.
It’s not that I couldn’t live without him, it’s that our life is meant to keep living! I remind to focus on the positives.
They say, everything happens for a reason. It you asked me last June my answer would have been completely different. I can now at least pull a few positives out of what we have experienced. Not that I would have necessarily chosen (not), I am grateful for the growth and healing.
I am also proud of me.