Its the small daily habits that begin to form our day, our evening and our nights. I have always considered myself a night hawk, loved staying up late and sleeping in the next day.
Until I became a mother. Which was honestly a dream come true. I, however don’t think I completely realized just how much it would completely change my life. Like we are talking turned upside down, on my head, change. The best change actually.
As the kids were growing up, my camera became an extension of my hand. When our son was approaching 1 yr old, I took the leap, while on mat leave, and purchased my first DSLR camera. I will never forget the feeling of taking my first photos with it, playing with the light, learning the aperture and composition. The best part though… being able to take a freeze frame shot of my baby on he move! Priceless.
However what I also remember is the judgment I felt and heart that first time I pulled my camera out at a mommy and me playdate. I purposely didn’t make a big to-do about my new camera, knowing I would hear comments about how much it cost or if it was actually needed. Psychologically, this is a feeling I had a hard time shaking. Although it was my own money, that I had saved up with, purposely budgeting as a new parent. Ive always loved number crunching. I purposely planned for this purchase, which truly ignited my heart. Yet, hearing people’s reactions I felt ashamed of what I saved up for and dreamed about.
In a time where many are living with immediate gratification. If you want something, you get it whether its going to the store or online, or even whether or not you actually have the money to “get it”. Its really shifted the way our society lives. I have fallen in to this trap myself. Picking up my phone to take photos, even though I truly prefer the quality of my big camera (which is a beautiful upgrade since my first DSLR). Taking photos with a phone to post on a social media app. For that immediate reaction of comments, praise or questions. Yet, when you get down to the nitty gritty, that’s not what gives me true satisfaction.
At a time in our life when we have literally been forced to take a step back, its been met with mixed emotions and responses. Some people have taken this opportunity to take a step back, to get more in touch with themselves, their family, their home life. Others, unfortunately have had their desire for immediate satisfaction intensified, with little compassion or understanding.
As I sat in bed this morning, I woke naturally before 6am and embraced my morning. Journaling, listening to a couple 45 min podcasts, chatting with my husband, enjoying my Turmeric Tea. I was reminded of this feeling of immediate gratification, can the world actually be sustainable with this type of thought process? Are people actually, truly happy? If you want something immediately, it may not be necessary or an emergency, but you feel you need whatever right that moment, and if the need cannot be met, you sometimes hastily move on. Where is the loyalty? Loyalty first to ourselves.
Thinking that we must have an immediate response for whatever it might be, in that exact moment, is completely unrealistic and instantly sets ourselves up in a scarcity mindset.
I think of years ago, before I had a digital camera, I loved taking photos and would have to wait to get them developed to truly enjoy them. Patience truly is a virtue. Yet its far too often an unappreciated trait.
Or calling someone, how did we live before cell phones? They have completely changed our life, many for the better, but in reality is it entirely better? I do appreciate being able to be in contact whenever, but I certainly should not have the attitude that just because I called or messaged someone that they must get back to me instantly. That’s simply unrealistic and disrespectful.
True satisfaction in life comes from within. Isn’t based on what or who says it should be. Its based on our each individual life, our each individual interests, hobbies, home and people we choose to surround ourselves with. Its a choice we make every single day.
Feeling judged, unappreciated, demanded upon isn’t a good feeling. Most times the person inflicting these unrealistic views are completely out of touch with themselves. Its not “normal” to expect something immediately, and yet society is teaching that this is what is expected. Working in the service industry I see this all the time as well. I am truly grateful for the appreciative abundant people I get to work with, and bless those whose expectations I am not able to meet, as they move on to find someone who possibly can.
If 2020 has taught us anything, its that its ok to take a step back, to learn to be first satisfied with our self, before imposing any expectations or judgments on anyone else. That the only person in charge of our happiness and growth, is our self. Most of all, living in absolute truth and honesty. Wouldn’t that be incredible if out of all of this, this is the one thing that came to light for all. What a peaceful world we would live in. Truly.
We create our happiness, which is also not at the expense of anyone else!
- What truly ignites my soul?
- How can I begin again?
- Why does their opinion really matter?
- What do I believe deep down?
- How can I re-teach myself patience?
- What is true satisfaction to me?
This morning as I was listening to my 2nd podcast, my husband had just left for a call, it hit me. Stop thinking about it. You know all those to-do lists running through your head. Do at least one thing morning and night that’s for you, truly for you that ignites your heart and you feel deep satisfaction in doing. Without a doubt, for me its my camera and getting out in nature. Even on a dreary, overcast day. So flowing with the inspiration I got dressed, jumped in my vehicle and went off to find some fall colours to photograph. Hint… beauty is all around us, you just have to be open to seeing it.
Those weeds on the side of the road, the ducks on the pond, complete peace and quiet down by the river. For an hour I scouted out some spots around town, remember how I used to do this when the kids were young, for my “me time”. Something I haven’t been doing as much of lately. Something I am making a priority in my life again. Because its what gives me true satisfaction. The experience. Not just the result.
A glimpse into my “satisfaction” this morning! Out for a walk at 830am enjoying the fresh air with my creative eye! Check out more at http://www.flickr.com/zmijaourmomentsintime