Earlier today I heard the radio announcer say that we were in a rainfall warning with up to 25mm of rain.
I instantly went negative. The rain, and alot of it, is still a big trigger for me. The more I’ve learned about PTSD, the more dots Ive connected.
We have all been through highs and lows in life. There are times that leave a really big imprint. When these imprints are negative and/or associate with trauma this makes it emotionally feel defeated and depleted. Literally. Triggers are a reminder of a significant event or time in your life, both good and bad. They are totally different for everyone, given we all live completely different lives. What could suddenly set it off, may not also be the root cause.
Rain is a trigger because our basement flooded.
I am learning how to best handle these triggers, whatever they may be, not just for myself but also my relationships with my husband and kids. Last night I was feeling really low. Allowing everything to stress me out, although I’ve been taught many times ‘patience is a virtue’! Stressing over various choices we need to make for the additions, one that I am totally hung up on and feeling very indecisive. Worrying of the business, most specifically our guys who have to enter people’s homes to fix their plumbing or heating. Hearing all the doom and gloom that is literally the entire world.
This shit happens in a movie NOT in real life!?
Then I walked outside tonight.
It is raining.
It smells so fresh, so new.
Something I was stressing about earlier, felt exactly right.
A lesson in patience, again, reminding that sometimes chaos comes before the calm, and that’s ok. Confusing, but ok.
This sweet girl reminds me the importance of patience, space and trusting in the journey.
All good things in life take time. Now is when we need to give ourselves and the entire world time. A slight pause. To be ok with not always feeling ok, to be ok with the unknown. Honestly not a feeling I enjoy, however I am reminding myself daily, sometimes multiple times, it will be ok.
This girl reminded me today multiple times to trust in me, trust in the process. Most of all be compassionate and love. It’s not often this sweet girl will snuggle in our room, she herself is still working on her own fears that we unfortunately wont know of. So we must be patient, give her space, respect her and support her in over coming her fears to be comfortable in all areas of our home.
We are making progress, just like we are doing to help flatten the curve. A very surreal moment in life, one that most certainly will be a significant time in history.
As anxious as this can make me feel, as my husband reminded me this morning, I grab my oils to help calm… thankfully Balance was near by and did just that!
Reach for your comfort, honor your feelings. I can admit I’ve fell into some of my old emotional eating habits. Albeit they are much healthier than years ago, I could feel myself losing touch with my motivation. Shine light on the darkness. Call yourself out. If you feel yourself getting down, you aren’t alone and it’s ok!
Tonight a movie and popcorn with my girls, was exactly what I needed, my patience reminder! 🙏💕🌎