Ah life, it can be interesting at times. Feel like its a LOT and then come back into reality and literally calm.the.F.down!
I can honestly say my surroundings greatly contribute to the shifting of my energy. I was admiring our home and said out loud how much I truly loved it. Ive said this before, in various stages of renos. But this time it feels different.
When this stage is complete, we have completely transformed this entire home ❤
This makes me so damn proud of us – all of us. Me, my husband and our two kids. In all our life together I have never truly “loved” where I lived. Mom and Dads will always feel like “home”, but its also their home. This home truly feels like us… which feels incredible! Knowing and now very clearly seeing how everything is coming together, has my heart bursting with so much gratitude!
A dream we saw on paper, then on screen, adjusted, edited, research so many options, costs, pros and cons. The numbers person in me has felt so much ups and downs, hills and valley’s. Pair together a numbers woman, with a much more stronger masculine side, with the “unknown” at times – which was almost the entire basement – an adventure x 2 that was, I have been forced to get comfortable with “the unknown”, to honestly learn to trust – without a doubt!
As I thought about how much I loved what our home was transforming to, a cool “house” version of US~! Which had me reminiscing on our journey as individuals, a couple and a family. We have all had some incredible growth, at times what felt like not given a choice, but alas a learning lesson. I am so proud of all of us and the home we have created together.
Thinking back, my kids younger years were a slight blur. I am so grateful for all the photos I captured, seeing the images reminds me of some of my fondest memories of them growing up, honestly some of my kids own memories too! Life was “busy” – before I knew that busy isn’t how you want to feel all the time. We were involved in multiple businesses, I tried to push my infertility pain aside, I had the beautiful “million dollar family”, I should be happy, yet I still was so angry with my body so I kept myself busy all the freaking time to not slow down, not deal with it.
Guess what, the more you push something down, the harder it tries to come up! Just freaking deal with it and move on with life. Counseling is an incredible thing! The power of talking, a genuine listening ear and most of all compassion.
A couple years ago I told my husband I wanted to really focus on what WE want – which was finishing our home so we could then all enjoy it. I have learned so much about myself along this journey that honestly, I may not have been urged to do. Like being ok with taking a great big leap financially to make this house our home. Its 1000% worth it! I can say without a doubt, I love our home and am truly SO grateful for every part of it.
That’s when it dawned on me, my surroundings completely play a significant part in my energy and how I feel. Its the visual. Clutter in my home or business is visually so over stimulating – in a negative way. De-cluttering, being organized, (our home being done), everything having a place – makes me feel so good. For some reason, I used to think I was weird, or that it was “anal” so I pushed against, which honestly was other peoples opinions! It really does feel good to ‘not care what others think’, but it takes a lot of personal work. I find social media can have a very strong negative pull at times. There have been days where I feel like I post alot, because I do. I get into an online vortex almost… which is also linked to HOW Im feeling 😉 Yup all related!!! If Im feeling energetically heavy, I can get sucked into the mindless scrolling. The time “wasted” is very real. Especially when I remind myself that the people who truly matter are IN my life. Not “on” social media. As a photographer I truly appreciate photos, every single one is its own piece of art, which is very cool. One reason I gravitate more to Instagram because its mainly just photos an videos. Other platforms, granted all of them have this downfall, can be strongly negative, which affects anyone’s mental health! Lets just be real and honest about that.
I am much more conscious about my social media use, am I perfect at boundaries, not really. However the better I feel, the stronger emotionally I am, an obvious perhaps. But easier to not access social media as much. There will always be negative people, who will choose to complain about anything and everything. Another real factor on mental health because everyone has to deal with other people in their daily life in some way! Another important reason why I wanted our home to be a true reflection of us, our “nest” as my husband named it. Our happy and always safe place. Our escape from the world, if we ever needed it, our peace on mother earth.
As I stood tonight truly appreciating what we have created, I feel even more at peace.
All in divine timing was so key with every step of this project, which I can NOW see without a doubt, 20/20 vision! Every single hill, mountain, hole, valley we encountered, as I said we had a life lesson. So for that I am thankful. I will have even more appreciation for our home, our nest that I am so grateful for now! Which also displays that our “being happy” truly reflects off of our “being grateful”. Being grateful, feeds off of appreciating your life – the ups and downs, which can be more challenging when you are IN the moment. Yup I get that – We have ALL been there!