What is your intrinsic why?
Ive been losing track of mine.
Its far to easy to fall into the worry of how, vs the faith of why.
These past couple week’s Ive had the pleasure of working with a personal development coach and have attended some events and training. They’ve really begun to push me!
Push me to be true to ME. True to what I envision and what I want in my life.
I admit Ive focused far too much on what has happened to me or my family in the past, Ive tried to dig deep to understand why – why me, why did it happen, what did I do to deserve it. It was all external factors that I allowed to take control over me and take me away from my true path.
I remember back in high school dreaming of one day becoming an Architect. I was very smart and got high marks, but began to pull myself back – now I see that I did that on purpose, I was self sabotaging by lowering my standards. I wasn’t allowing myself to fully be free to reach for the sky.
Everything happens for a reason – I am and have always been a firm believer of this. Although it always intrigued me why. Why was always what I found myself reaching for – to understand. Sometimes we simply cannot understand we just need to trust.
The people who have crossed my path were meant to. Me not going following through to school for being an architect was a step that had to happen. After a year of life experience I chose, by myself as a single woman, to go to school for business. A stepping stone that was a blessing. When I chose to go to school I didn’t exactly know what I would do, but had been told I would be welcome at the family business as long as I had post-secondary schooling under my belt.
When you put your mind to something – no matter the size – you open yourself up to the universe to allow things to begin coming into place. A life lesson that is so much easier to see after you have had the opportunity to experience.
I went to college for general business, after a year moved up to business management and graduated with honors, on the deans list and certified in management. Incredible what could happen when I set my goal and had incredible support behind me.
A very fond memory was back the end of high school and I kept thinking about how I deserved to be in a relationship of love, mutual respect, with someone who truly values me as a woman, respects my family and who my family also welcomes with open arms. I thought of this so many times. So many times in fact that it is a very solid memory and one I am so grateful still to this day.
When my husband walked into my life it truly was unexpected, not planned in any way and clearly meant to be. In walked this man into my life who already knew a part of my extended family, supported me in my choices, had fun together and quickly became a part of our family and loved me in a way I had been missing for so many years. Has it been all roses – of course not. Relationships are work from every angle. The universe did however know what needed to fall into place and although I could have resisted and chose to go back to what had been “normal” for me for years – I chose to push forward and it was one of the best choices Ive made. I still for many years continually questioned if I actually deserved to be treated with respect and loved.
This life lesson is one that I remind myself all.the.time.
Yet at times I still am so quick to squash down dreams, goals and plans for the future – worrying of HOW or WHO.
Being a part of my essential oil community has been another blessing – surrounded by like minded women who uplift and encourage. Being empowered to make decisions with regards to my health and feel and see the difference. Gaining confidence to step above and away from the “norm” of society and follow my own path while guiding my family to do the same.
While at a training yesterday with my doSisters we spoke alot about our strengths and focusing on what we are good at. Not just for our essential oil businesses but in every aspect of our life. My biggest strength is Futuristic. The more I learn about this the more I am affirmed that this IS me. I love looking into the future, problem solving and creating solutions. I am learning how to be excited about looking into the future and also putting forth those plans in action today and even more so being excited about what I envision for myself and our family and not obsessing about the how or who of what might be said.
The how will come. The who may be supportive, they may be naysayers or they may need to exit from their part of my play of life.
Making a conscious choice to follow my heart, reach for goals and dreams – I have that choice and I want to ensure my kids know they have that same choice. Choice is power.
I began to second guess the 2nd part of our massive home project. Not because I didn’t want to do what we have planned but because the how and who began getting in the way. I am futuristic and a big part of that is where my passion for numbers comes in. I love working with numbers and planning every single thing. Its a major strength. One where I shine while my hubby is talented in the physical construction of things.
Our next project is a major – one we’ve been planning for years but I began squashing. Why do we need to do this, what will “they” think, how will we get the money to do it… question after question giving myself every excuse in the book when what it came down to was I was not allowing myself to feel worthy of my dream vision. I absolutely love our home. We very much are home bodies. Even when away we are happiest in our home. Why do we not deserve for it to be everything we have ever wanted. We work hard and have always paid our own bills. The game of life and that’s how to play it. Of course we deserve to make these choices, of course we are worthy of having our dream space custom to us and what we as a couple are envisioning together.
Without really knowing it I was squashing so much more than just our 2nd phase of our house project. Even with knowing this is a long term plan I was putting out to the universe that I do not feel I deserve more. When I do. We do.
The other day I shared a video in our essential oil group about weight loss. I knew even before I started to record the video, exactly how it had to begin. It began with mind set. I struggled with my health for SO many years – over 20 years, my physical health drastically affected my emotional health. At times very heavily. I knew I needed to take control, but for years I felt lost. Why did it suddenly work for me? Why was I successful? Because in my mind I was ready. It was a small shift, yet so incredibly powerful. I knew in my heart my goal wasn’t to be ‘skinny’ it was to be strong and healthy – in control of MY health. I honestly did not know how this was going to happen, I just knew it in my heart it was time. It worked. Its still working. In 1 year I lost 40lbs and have kept it off.
The mindset is incredibly powerful.
Being true to me, is being true to my heart. What feel’s light is right.
I may not be an architect by trade, but in fact I have become an architect. I am the architect of my life and I am supporting other women to do the same.