Living A Life That Matters…For Our Children, For Their Future

Today a “man” finally owned up to “all” of his secrets and lies… this man, Mayor of Toronto Rob Ford finally admits to smoking crack. Just days after he called out the police chief, daring him to prove he had the video in his possession…

What does this show us, what does this remind us…

Well for 1. He is human, he makes mistakes, 2. Someone with that much power, control, money will  lie, cheat, sneak around as much as they can until they can dig the hole no more,

and 3. All your secrets and lies will ALWAYS catch up with you…

Yup and my opinion… no doubt he has a problem. He has more problems than just booze and drugs. He felt it was ok to tell lie after lie to try and cover up his wrong doings – he thought this was ok! He thought that he was doing the city of Toronto good by lying, by calling other people liars… by representing the city with the tax payers dollars…

I am raising two young kids.

Kids ask questions. A LOT of questions. Kids are like sponges. Not just any kind of sponge, they’re like the great big sponges that you think you get all the water wrung out of and there’s still some left in it. Kids absorb everything. Good and bad…

Kids just want to know who, what, where, when and why…

I am amazed everyday by our kids, not only the things they say or do, but also how fast they are growing up right in front of our eyes. With each passing day we are forming these little people into the adults they will one day become.

Which really makes me stop and think. . .

As a parent our job in life for our children is to provide them with love, shelter, food and clothes. Everything else really is “bonus” . However if a child has love and is surrounded by love, I truly believe this makes an amazing difference in their life. As a parent, especially as a mother there is a lot of pressure on us to ensure we protect our kids by the various everyday life “things” and “stuff” that could happen.

We won’t always be there to kiss every boo-boo or to save their day, this is where things can be tough, believing in yourself that you have not only raised your children to be the people who you want them to be but also treat people how they deserve to be treated. To feel confident that we’re raising little people who will be strong, emotionally and physically and set realistic goals in their life to be happy and successful.

Children are smart, children’s feelings get hurt, children do not always understand. Even as adults we can find ourselves allowing in too much negativity, having a hard time saying no, fearing that standing up for ourselves may cause hurt in someone else. We can fear doing this for ourselves however are we doing our children any favours by allowing ourselves to do this?

No.

We continually tell our children treat people how you would like to be treated, to be positive and not negative, to do their best, to stand up for themselves using their words, to be polite and respectful to their family and peers.

Yet, many adults are not able to do this. Many adults with children cannot do this and are unable to see how it affects their children.

I have spirited children.

Many people have no clue or interest in knowing what this means. Its quite common, just as common as PCOS is, however much like when I received my diagnosis it was common yet never spoken of . Spirited children are much like every other child, just a bit more… can be louder, more sensitive, more emotional, change affects them harder than other children, they thrive on organization.

They can be “more“… at times it can be overwhelming, but we are lucky for some more pretty amazing ways with their imagination, creativity, working with numbers and problem solving, love of music and arts, as well as their fantastic ability to love with their very unique personalities.

For spirited children, relationships are important. Very important. For our children I capture these relationships and moments with photography, many occasions our children can be found looking through photograph’s.

Never deny a child a relationship with someone,
who truly wants to be a part of their life,
who truly loves and appreciates them,
and who truly puts the child’s well being and interest first.”

Everything that we as parents do, every choice we make, direct or indirectly, these choices affect our children, both positive and negative. The relationships parents have, with their spouse, children, siblings, parents, friends, work, affect children, both positive and negative. Many times without parents even realizing their negativity is deeply affecting their child and their child’s future, children ask their famous question of Why? Always. Situations a parent may try to protect their child by disclosing too much, enough or too little. Too little and even enough still begs the question why. Too much, causes future hurt. Too much can cause children to hurt others, without even fully knowing how they are hurting or the consequences. Young kids can only handle so much “truth”, young kids cannot fully understand the complexity of a situation.

Afterall, actions do speak much louder than words.

“The Truth Is Hard To Swallow If You’re Choking On Your Pride.”

As a parent, with children who may need a little extra, who adjust to change a little longer, I will go that extra mile for them, for the relationships and people in their lives. However, as a parent there comes a time when it is no longer healthy to do this, where a parent has to put the emotional well-being of their kids first and think of them first and foremost, regardless of anyone else.

Relationships are important, unless they cause hurt. When as a parent we cannot explain why to them because there really is not rational reason, why.

Relationships mean more to our kids than anything material. Discipline can prove to be frustrating when taking away toys doesn’t upset them as much as not doing this or that with so and so.

Both my husband and I were raised to appreciate the people in our lives, money does not buy happiness. You work hard to live a good life and plan for the future while having fun. We live a modest life and are upfront with our kids with the reality of life, working and paying bills. Working hard to be able to do or purchase something we really want, vs something we really need. Teaching them the value of money, by allowing them some control over some money they have. Realizing the importance of saving as well as making a choice of how to spend. Always holding tight the true value that money cannot buy, as our son said it perfectly when I asked him what he wanted for his birthday… to have a party with his family and friends.

When attempting to maintain a relationship, for adults or children, becomes more work and pain; when the relationship change is beyond your control, when the term “treat others how you want to be treated” results in you and your loved ones being hurt, mental health and emotional well-being prevails.

“Check your ego at the door.
It doesn’t matter where you finish.
Only that you finish with integrity and give it a solid effort.
Leave the box better than when you walked in.
Head high and be proud.”

I will never claim to have all the answers for my children, but I can be sure I have a lot of love to give them along with our family and friends in our lives. For us relationships are much more important than “things”, family and friends relationships are truly what makes life. Life will never be easy, however it is very much worth working hard for. Something’s can never be explained, but they happen for some reason or another. A Life Well Lived

If anything, the mayor of Toronto has given parents an excellent example to say to their kids… see money does NOT buy you happiness, having a great job does not make you happy, lying and sneaking around will only get you caught and anything you truly want to have or do in life will ONLY come with true, honest hard work…

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