Last night we spent the evening with good friends of ours and our kids. Friends we became closer with because of our kids. No doubt we are proud parents, we are also real, during our visit we of course we’re talking to walls while attempting to get our kids attention, but they and we had fun. The boys terrorized the girls then they gave it right back to them, we got to chat in between 4 children running throughout the house. But they had fun. They were being kids at the best of times. Sure they needed reminding but they all are such great kids.
I love these kids more and more everyday, being parents is the most fulfilling thing we have both ever done. They have shaped us as parents, they have helped us find ourselves, to truly enjoy what we love and what our life has become. That each day is an amazing gift.
These days come with challenges, but none that would ever make me change anything.
There are many moments of frustration or feeling drained, but at the end of the day, even 5 minutes later when they stop fighting and are back to best friends there is nothing, nothing better than hearing and seeing them being so kind and loving to each other. We aren’t perfect, but we are so blessed!
Its not just our love for them or how they are with each other, its their mutual respect, today Cars came home from a birthday party and told Mady he saved some candy for her from his treats, or when Mady and I (just this evening) went to get a movie for hubs and I for tonight and she got some popcorn, we got in the van and she declared she was saving it for when she gets home to share with Cars. Completely warmed my heart, both of them. It makes all those tough moments having two kids almost 18 months apart makes, so much more worth it.
We both know, we will miss these moments, their tiny sweet voices, their tiny touch, kisses, hugs and how they idolize us as their parents and look up to everything we do. I always knew I wanted to be a mom and everyday, even during those moments I find tense and totally defeated, I stop myself to think, this is such a small part of our life. Sure we don’t have much time kid-less, so those times we do we do enjoy them, all while missing those two little people whose lives we created.
I know a part of me still gets so very emotional with our children because of the nightmare we had to go through to even have our first child, and how blessed we are,.how much more blessed we felt (after I stopped crying and being scared at how I would manage being pregnant with a 10mth old – when I was pregnant I was in extreme pain everyday. But I did it, I can’t believe its been over 4 years ago since my last pregnancy, a true blessing, otherwise I’m sure Cars would have been an only child, I couldn’t knowingly go through the pain of ttc and being pregnant. Thank god, god knew our baby boy was not our only blessing we had hoped for. Alas it still holds my emotions and I’m sure always will.
They are amazing children, I am so beyond blessed to be their mother and to be through that journey, in which we both incurred a lot of pain. Now we can truly enjoy these miracles, the good and bad!